Liquid Death Sends '80s Dance-Pop Styles Straight to Hell

Forget the Muppets. Liquid Death unleashes some real electric mayhem with its twisted take on ’80s dance-pop styles.

The canned water company topped the charts (in my mind, anyway) with two previous collections of terrifying tracks. Both featured lyrics based on internet hate leveled at the brand.

Greatest Hates Vol. 3 continues that tradition across 10 self-consciously sickening, synth-soaked (mostly NSFW) songs. Hell yes, Tipper Gore, it’ll get your toes tapping.

Here’s a trailer:

So many “song of the summer” possibilities, ranging from “I’d Rather Die” and “It’s Dumb and I Won’t Buy It” to “Rather Cut My Own D**k Off.”

It’s an ’80s send-up, so a spoof MTV-style music video was inevitable. Check out a little ditty called “F**k Whoever Started This,” packed with enough profane stupidity to send Martha Quinn and Nina Blackwood running for the hills:

“F**k Satan
F**k whoever started this shit
You will get what’s coming
This is a promise, this is a promise,
F**k Satan

I’ll do everything in my power 
To destroy your company 
This disgusting company
Will drag you straight to hell.”

That makes more sense than most ’80s hits. “Sussudio”—what was that about?

“It’s been almost three years since the original release of Greatest Hates Vols. 1 and 2,” Liquid Death VP, creative Andy Pearson, tells Muse. “In that time, we’ve had so many wonderful comments directed at us, it felt like we had too much material to not make a new album.”

OK, but why channel a Madonna, Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet vibe for the music?

“After a metal album and a punk album, we wanted to make an album you could dance to,” Pearson explains. “I dare you to listen to the album and not find yourself humming them in the shower the next morning.”

I joked earlier about the brand’s past collections becoming best-sellers. They’ve performed super-well, actually, tallying 630,000 Spotify streams combined. Jax would kill for those numbers!

This time around, “The lyrics are probably even angrier, but the music is more accessible,” Pearson observes. “It’s very confusing how delightful it is.”

That’s true. There’s a compelling disconnect between the vituperative verbiage and bouncy beats. The campaign just works. It transcends the musical nostalgia craze, joining severed limbs, plastic surgery disasters, grannies gone wild and enemas in Liquid Death’s badass brand universe.

“Also, we always get amazing guest appearances,” Pearson says, “but I feel like we got some real incredible ones on this release.”

Sugar Ray’s Mark McGrath plus Frank Iero, Tony Kanal and Tony Haijar appear.

Then there’s “Worst Name for a Water Company,” with none other brand stalwart Tony Hawk raising his voice in song:

“Who thought it was a good idea 
To create a brand of water 
Marketed to people who think 
The 1998 X-Games are cool

“Some 46-year-old ad dude 
With swallow tattoos 
Prolly spent 15 years
Of his professional career 
To come up with this idea

Worst name for a water company
Your marketing department had one job
Worst name for a water company EVER!”

“This falls right in line with our mission to make entertainment instead of marketing,” Pearson says. “We could’ve spent the money forcing people to watch an unskippable ad before the YouTube video they actually wanted to see. But instead, we just made a hilarious album you can actually stream or own on vinyl.”

The sonic masterpiece (we use that term with irony and love) hits Spotify and YouTube today.

CREDITS

Co-Founder/CEO: Mike Cessario
SVP of Marketing: Dan Murphy
VP of Creative: Andy Pearson
VP of Marketing: Greg Fass
VP of Design: Frank Dresmé
VP of Apparel: Misha Brunelli
Creative Director: Will Carsola
Associate Creative Director: Stu Golley
Design Director of Merch: Adam Hedman
Senior Brand Manager: Tia Sherwood
Senior Nihilist: Brendan Kelly
Senior Graphic Designer: Kellen Breen
Apparel Production & Sourcing Manager: Sean Srnik
Executive Producer: Johnny Eastlund
Senior Producer: Tatianna Rodriguez
Production Coordinator: Rylee Brown
Directors: Tusk
Director of Photography: Justin McWilliams
Choreographer: Monika Smith
Stills: Lauren Withrow
Video Editor: Tyler Beasley

Music Credits
Executive Music Producer: Jen Razavi
Lead Vocals by Lexi Papillon
Produced and Engineered by Micah Gordon
Mixed and Mastered by Micah Gordon
Lyrics by actual internet haters
Music by Micah Gordon and Lexi Papillion