Outback's Creepy Koala Will Decide If You Get Xmas Steak

Outback Steakhouse’s omniscient Koala rewards niceness. But if you’re naughty, he still might cut you some slack.

The cute-but-creepy critter debuts in “Koala on the Walla,” riffing on absolutely no yuletide meme ever.

Mischief developed the campaign, which celebrates “Steakmas.” We’re told that’s a “long-standing Australian holiday,” and the plushie Koala monitors our every move, deciding who merits meaty morsels for dinner.

He’ll jingle-jangle your nerves in this tuneful tale:

“He sees when you’ve been bad
He sees when you’ve been good
He knows when you don’t behave
Exactly as you should.
He knows all of your secrets
Every rule that you’ve defied
He sees those unpaid parking tickets
You thought that you could hide.”

It gets worse:

“Nothing gets past him
He’s watching all the time
He knows what’s in your garbage
Is borderline a crime.
He rifles through your sock drawer
He’s underneath your bed
He knows about the bank accounts
You’re hiding from the Feds.”

But never fear:

“He witnesses a lot
You haven’t been so great
But this year he says everyone
Deserves a little steak.”

The spot backs a beefed-up holiday menu, and Outback will give away 1,000 custom-made toy Koalas. Just follow the brand on Facebook or Instagram, like a special post and complete an entry form by Dec. 15.

Mischief’s been all about the wildlife this year. Walla Koala’s just the latest addition to the marketing menagerie. As you might recall, rabbits, chickens and foxes repped clients Tubi, Fanduel and Eos, respectively.

Cute, but not too cute, absurd and edgy, these campaigns slice through commercial predictability (like sharp knives though filet mignon, if you wish.) They’re silly but sharable, offering tasty treats amid adland’s often bland repast.

 Pete Marquis directed the Koala video through Strike Anywhere Films.