The Tearquilizer: a Spray Made From Women's Tears That Calms Men Down

Blurring the lines between science and satire

Picture it: A woman with an opinion and the moment they start to speak, they’re interrupted by a man, who definitely knows more than them. Introducing the “Tearquilizer,” a male-calming spray that’s made from women’s tears because, per Scientific American, men become up to 44 percent less aggressive after smelling women’s tears.

Created by Amsterdam-based creatives Carlota Real and Natalia Zapata, Tearquilizer pushes this scientific discovery to another level.

“There wasn’t just one moment, but too many happening to us and to women close to us,” Real tells Muse. “Condescending comments and attitudes from men in higher positions throughout our entire careers. Being called ‘defensive’ for pushing back at work or simply being assertive, while the men around us wouldn’t get the same feedback. Having to walk on eggshells around fragile egos. And let’s not even talk about the current dating scene, which is not for the weak.”

“All of this got us fired up, and we decided to channel it into something absurd and hilarious as a way to cope. An equally insane solution. Of course, we’re not about to start milking our tears and spraying men out in the wild. But maybe it gets people talking, and realizing just how many of these experiences are universal.”

This video below breaks things down:

And a custom website explains the aromatic notes to expect:

“It opens with a delicate aroma of sobbing quietly between meetings, paired with top notes of smudged mascara and a faint scent of panic over a passive-aggressive email. Notes of damp paper towels and of saying ‘I’m fine’ while absolutely not being fine, softened by undertones of anxiety.”

“As friends and creatives, we were constantly ranting about terrible dates, fragile egos, and the toxic men around us, until one day we decided to do something about it,” says Real. “Humor is our favorite coping mechanism, so turning our toxic shared experiences into something fun just made sense.”