All I Really Want From This Year's Super Bowl

What do I want from the Super Bowl this weekend?

Well, of course I want a good game. Blowouts are boring. 

And while the Pats can’t win this Sunday, Tom Brady can. I’ve got someone to root for, and the rest of the country has someone to root against. Perfect.

Yes, Tom could not wait to get New England in his rearview mirror, and no, I am not choosing him over Bill.

I don’t want to debate Tom vs. Bill. I have had enough debates for a while. 

I want football. Hard-hitting, entertaining, mindless football.

I am in the mood for mindless. I think the country is, too.

The last year has emotionally exhausted our country. We could use a break.

So, please, I don’t want a halftime platform. I just want a halftime stage.

I don’t want slanted statements. I want slants from the slot across the middle.

I want a day off from politics, diets and somber pianos in the commercials.

I don’t want to hear the phrase “At times like these.”

I want to escape into the creativity of the commercials.

I want to remember that this Sunday is a national holiday for fun, for laughs, for cheers, for cheese dip that will clog my arteries, and for great advertising.

I want Doritos to make me laugh. I demand Doritos make me laugh.

I want beer brands to give me something to aim for in the year to come, ads that make me say “Damn, I wish I did that.”

I want to enjoy the game with “My cousin. From Boston.”

It’s not that I don’t want to see bad, self-important, waste-of-money ads. I do. I want to see lots of them. So I can mock them.

I don’t want preachy jammed down my throat. Instead, I want my throat filled with fish tacos, deep dish pizza and a hot dog chaser.

I want a good game. I demand great advertising. I am hopeful that the brands participating in the game will embrace the reality that the best advertising is created from a place of empathy. Of understanding your audience emotionally.  

We are a country tired of soapboxes and brands looking to climb upon them.

I hope brands understand our exhaustion instead of trying to exploit it. 

I think America specifically, and the world in general, could benefit from turning our minds off for a day. We want to cheer, to laugh, to escape. We know we can’t have a big Super Bowl party, but we can have a grid and buy some squares. What feels better than drawing a square with two threes, and one team misses an extra point for a 13-3 halftime score that earns you a crisp $20 bill? Um, nothing.

I want to feel a little normal come into my life. Just for a day. This Sunday, please.

Monday I am going to wake up, back in the Covid Crazy, in a divided country, with people more interested in yelling than listening. AOC vs. Ted Cruz. CNN vs. Fox. Moderna vs. Pfizer.

I accept that. And I know that eventually we will build a better, fairer, more righteous country from the emotional rubble surrounding us. Together.

But on Sunday, can it just be about Chiefs vs. Bucs? Patrick vs. Tommy? Red and white vs. whatever the hell those Bucs colors are called? Is that called pewter? 

Let’s debate Cheetos vs. Pringles, whether humorless FedEx ads are better than the funny ones, and is a gazillion dollars for a 30-second spot really worth it?

I want to be part of change. I want to elevate and amplify kindness. I want red people and blue people to see the purple in each other.

But on Sunday, I want a battered, bruised, brooding, reflecting, angry and changing country to get what I think it needs most.

A day off.

I want to laugh at the ads.

I want to cheer for Tom.

I want to turn off my brain and turn on my appreciation for nachos and a frosty Coke over crushed ice.

I want the whole world to put aside all our differences, and just enjoy a good game and some good ads.

I think we need that.