Panera Roasts Unnecessary, Obnoxious Coffee-Shop 'Extras'

In the 60-second spot below, a coffee shop charges $12 for a splash of unicorn milk. Now, they’ve clearly got a miniature unicorn behind the counter, so the stuff shouldn’t cost more than 10 bucks, tops!

Developed with Conscious Minds Studio and director Oren Kaplan, the commercial, breaks today, roasting various unnecessary café extras to play up Panera Bread’s $8.99 monthly unlimited coffee subscription:

You know, we actually could go for a “nitro charcoal brew with dry ice” right about now. Extra foam art, please!

“We kept our work focused on one consumer truth: that getting a cup of premium coffee should be easy, but it isn’t, and often times can be super expensive with add-ons,” Panera vp of brand building Ezra Martin tells Muse.

“Our target audience is anyone wanting a cup of premium coffee who has suffered through the agony of spending a small fortune, enduring crazy add-ons and time wasted in line,” Martin says. “We know many consumers will find this to be very relatable. We want them to know that Panera is the best solution for a premium cup of coffee at an exceptional value.”

Sounds like he’s saying that’s not a real unicorn. Ah, well.

The team shot at a coffee shop in L.A., with Wells Adams, who appeared on The Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise, playing the overly eager barista. “Wells is an incredibly likable, well-known guy—and he’s a familiar face for people across the country,” Martin says. “Since people are used to seeing him behind the bar, we are playing with that intentionally and adding in his new barista skills.”

Good to know he’s got a backup plan just in case the whole reality-show thing doesn’t pan out.

Panera last milked the funny in this memorable musical hyping its Broccoli Cheddar Mac & Cheese. (Fun fact: When unicorns sing, they sound just like Michael Bolton.)

CREDITS

Conscious Minds Studios
Director: Oren Kaplan
Executive Producer, Blake Heal
Executive Creative Director, Cameron DeArmond
Head of Production, Jeff Keith
Creative Director, Vasili Gavre
Senior Art Designer, Claire Zimmerman
Copywriter, Shamus Eaton and Kristin Wellmer
Brand Director, Kelly Yaussi
Brand Manager, Lauren Currie
Producer, Mat Lancaster
Sr. Post Producer, Darren Hummel
Post Producer, Chadwick Trentham
Editor, Jordan Walsh